The Dark Tower – Tony's Horror Corner

The Great “Dark Tower” Reread: “The Waste Lands”

It’s tough to follow “The Drawing of the Three,” but “The Waste Lands” gives one hell of an effort. It’s a very close race for my favorite “Dark Tower” novel between these two. This is the third and one of the biggest steps in Roland and his ka-tet’s journey to the Tower, so let’s hop on the review train.

Released in 1991, “The Waste Lands” gives readers the most explanation of any of the previous novels. This may sound boring, but the novel is action packed throughout. Eddie and Susannah are true gunslingers now and Roland is going insane due to the paradox he created by saving Jake in book two.

The trio travel far in this novel and we learn a lot about the beams connecting the tower to the 12 points around Roland’s world. We travel to a haunted house in New York with Jake, to the war-torn city Lud, ride a riddle-obsessed suicidal train, Blaine the Mono, and even get a brief appearance from one of King’s ultimate baddies.

“The Waste Lands” is a thrill-ride, Olivia and I finished it in three sittings. There are a few sections that get a little slower due to the explanatory bits, but they are very important, and King mixed them in with the action very well. You’ll hit that cliff-hanger at the end and your jaw will be on the ground. Between book two and this one, we have seen some of King’s best work.

Continue your ride on the review train, but beware, spoilers lie in the Waste Lands below.

We start off with Roland, Eddie and Susannah in the woods past the beach we left in book two. Roland is teaching Susannah how to properly shoot a gun like a gunslinger. This is the first time readers get a glimpse of the gunslinger litany and its marvelous:

“I do not aim with my hand; he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my eye.
I do not shoot with my hand; he who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I shoot with my mind.
I do not kill with my gun; he who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father. I kill with my heart.”

Roland and Susannah hear crashes and roars and run to find Eddie. They see him at the top of a tree with a giant cyborg bear beneath it trying to get him. After Susannah kills it, we learn this is Shardik, one of the guardians of the beams connected to the Tower.

Roland shows his ka-tet that you can actually see the beams in the sky and the surrounding area. They start following the beam to the center, the Dark Tower. On their journey, Roland and Eddie have dreams. Roland’s of Jake and Eddie’s of the Tower. Eddie’s dreams and growing desire to see the tower are part of the reason why Eddie is the best character. He is genuine, and his curiosity is exactly what every constant reader feels.

Meanwhile, in New York, Jake is having a hard time with his divided mind, much like Roland. Jake has a dream of young Eddie and his older brother Henry. In the dream, Jake follows them to the famous haunted mansion on Dutch Hill. When he awakens from his dream, Jake seeks out and eventually finds young Eddie and follows the brothers to the mansion. Once there and the Dean brothers have departed, Jake goes inside.

While Jake is entering the house, Roland, Eddie, and Susannah have entered a speaking circle guarded by a demonic spirit. While there, Susannah must distract it, sexually, while Eddie draws a door. The circle is where the ka-tet hopes to draw Jake through.

King flips back and forth between the ka-tet and their struggle and Jake and his. Jake is in a house of horrors, pretty much. The descriptions are truly terrifying, especially when the house comes to life and tries to grab Jake and consume him. After a heroic struggle, Jake is finally drawn into Roland’s world. Obviously that description doesn’t cut it, but it is one of the most intense scenes in the book and King set it up and executed it so well.

Once Jake is drawn, his and Roland’s minds are at ease and the ka-tet has one more member. After rounds of story sharing, they are all one the same page and of one mind: khef. Jake tells the trio of a riddle book and a book about a train he found in a NY bookstore. The books foreshadow a train the ka-tet will soon encounter.

They resume their journey toward the war-torn city of Lud. Along the way they pick up a hitchhiker: a little billy-bulmber, a raccoon-fox-like creature named Oy. Oy can somewhat repeat words and phrases and takes an immediate liking to Jake, “Ake.”

The ka-tet reaches a bridge leading to Lud. The bridge is very run-down and on the brink of collapse. They go across single file until they are stopped when Jake and Oy almost fall off. This scene is stressful as hell.

Once they regain their composure, they see a figure on the other side: Gasher. Gasher wants them to hand over Jake or else he’ll blow the bridge. They do… another heartbreaking scene where we have to watch Roland lose Jake.

Gasher drags Jake through a series of twists, turns, tunnels and around traps until they reach the lair of the Tic-Toc man underneath the city. Another heart pounding sequence. Eddie and Susannah go off in search of the train, Blaine the Mono. Roland and Oy search for Jake.

Eddie and Susannah find Blaine and must answer a riddle to board. Roland and Oy find where Jake is being held. Oy goes into the vents and attacks Jake’s captors from the inside and Roland bursts through. Together they escape with Jake and rendezvous with the Deans.

Susannah solves the riddle, and the five members of the ka-tet board Blaine. Once aboard, Blaine talks to them and impresses the group with his futuristic technology. Blaine takes the them through the waste lands and strikes a deal: The ka-tet must ask him riddles and if he solves them all, he will drive the train with them locked inside, into the blockade at the end of the track in Topeka. If the ka-tet manages to stump him though, then he will let them off safely in Topeka.

While the ka-tet are riding away from Lud, a mysterious figure approaches the injured Tic-Toc Man. This figure spouts a few lines from one of King’s best novels, “The Stand,” giving us the idea that he could be Randall Flagg (it is).

King leaves us with a nasty cliff-hanger to finish off this epic novel. It is totally frustrating until you just immediately grab book four, “Wizard and Glass,” and pick right back up. Overall “The Waste Lands” was absolutely incredible. If you weren’t sucked into the journey to the Tower after book 2, then you definitely will be after book 3.

5 out of 5

The Great “Dark Tower” Reread: “The Drawing of the Three”

If you felt a little lost or confused after “The Gunslinger,” King’s second installment in “The Dark Tower” series, “The Drawing of the Three” is the medicine you need. Below is my review for the thrill ride that really opens the door to the series.

“The Drawing of the Three” was released in 1987 and starts with Roland Deschain, the last Gunslinger, waking up on a beach to the water from the sea soaking his guns and shells. Roland, concerned for his weapons, leaps up but is attacked by giant lobster-like creatures that lop off the first two fingers on his dominant right hand.

King immediately cripples the story’s hero, starting the readers off knowing this will be a major test. “The Drawing of the Three” contains some of King’s best writing, hands down. His imagination and descriptions are truly incredible. This novel is incredibly fast paced compared to book one, and you’ll never want to put it down… Olivia and I finished it in three nights.

We get to meet two major characters in this one: Eddie Dean and Susannah. Susannah, we don’t get to until later, but we start off quickly with Eddie and if I’m being completely honest, he’s my favorite King character and one of the best he’s ever written.

This novel offers us a look into how vast King’s universe can be, but we only scratch the surface. “The Drawing of the Three” is easily a top 10/15 King novel overall for me, and its either #1 or #2 within “The Dark Tower” series.

Brief synopsis below that may contain spoilers, so tread lightly.

After losing his fingers, Roland shambles down the beach, realizing the lobstrosities have poisoned him. Roland is in desperation mode when he comes across a door in the middle of the beach. The door reads “The Prisoner.” Roland opens it and realizes he is looking through someone else’s eyes. Eddie Dean’s eyes.

Roland steps through the door, and into Eddie. King’s imagination is on full display here and it’s truly incredible. The scenes where Roland and Eddie co-exist in Eddies body, Roland taking food from Eddies world back to his own, Roland hiding the drugs Eddie was smuggling into the US in his world, so Eddie would make it through customs… amazing.

Eddie Dean is a heroin addict who, as I mentioned, was smuggling cocaine into the US for his heroin supplier, Balazar. Balazar is holding Eddie’s brother Henry hostage as collateral. Eddie, with Roland as his passenger arrive at Balazar’s place to exchange the drugs.

Eddie goes to the bathroom, followed by one of Balazar’s men, to retrieve the drugs from Roland’s world. While in the bathroom, Eddie pulls the goon into Roland’s world and together, Roland and Eddie feed him to the lobstrosities. Roland comes back through the door with Eddie, not inside him this time, but separately.

There’s a major shootout in Balazar’s where the last men standing are Roland and Eddie. After having Henry’s severed head thrown at him, Eddie is broken, and Roland convinces him to come back to his world to find the Tower.

“On the way to the Dark Tower anything is possible.” – Roland

“Okay, I didn’t have anything else planned tonight, anyway.” – Eddie

The two take some of Balazar’s antibiotics for Roland and trudge along the beach. Roland recovering from infection and Eddie withdrawing from his heroin addiction. Two peas in a pod. The two sufferers happen upon the next door marked: “Lady of Shadows.”

Roland opens the door again and is looking through the eyes of Detta Walker who is also Odetta Holmes. Odetta/Detta is a woman with a split personality. She is also a woman in a wheelchair because her legs are missing from the knee down.

Odetta/Detta’s drawing is much quicker and less messy than Eddie’s was, but once Roland gets her into his world, he and Eddie soon realize her personalities are unaware of each other, and vastly different. Odetta is kind, smart and inquisitive while Detta is much more animalistic: vicious, cunning and dangerous.

During the trio’s journey to the third door, Roland’s infection begins to reassert itself with a vengeance. Eddie and Odetta/Detta leave Roland, who is unable to walk, to find the door. Once there, Eddie leaves Odetta/Detta and takes her wheelchair to get Roland. Roland is the only one who can open the door marked: “The Pusher.”

Eddie gets Roland to the door, but Odetta/Detta is missing. Roland goes through the door and enters the vile Jack Mort. Eddie stays behind to look for Odetta… he has fallen in love with her but fears she has turned into Detta.

Meanwhile, Roland is inside Jack Mort’s head and stops the him from pushing Jake into traffic, the same Jake and same car that killed him and sent him to Roland’s world in “The Gunslinger.” Another glimpse at how big King’s universe surrounding the Tower can be.

Roland uses Jack’s body to get ammunition for his guns, and antibiotics for himself. This scene is fun and wild. Roland, not knowing New York culture makes Jack seem like an imbecile at times. Further examples of Kings genius. We discover Mort is the man that pushed Odetta in front of the train which caused her to lose her legs. In a final act of vengeance, Roland throws Jacks body in front of the same train and brings the drugs and bullets back to his world.

Back in his world, however, Detta has tied Eddie up and he is on the verge of death by lobstrosities when Roland reemerges. His return caused Detta and Odetta to finally see each other, causing the split personalities to converge into one woman: Susannah.

These three are the beginnings of a ka-tet: one from many; a group of people summoned by ka (destiny). Together they continue their journey to the Tower but not before Eddie rips our hearts out by thanking Roland in the most genuine way possible:

“You saved more than my life, you saved my fuckin’ soul.”

“The Drawing of the Three” is an absolutely incredible novel and leaves us totally broken but also empowered and ready for the next piece of the puzzle: “The Waste Lands.” I can’t say enough positive about this one though.

5 out of 5

The Great “Dark Tower” Reread: “The Gunslinger”

I first started Stephen King’s magnum opus “Dark Tower” series in April of 2016 and finished the 7th and final book in early December of that year. Upon finishing “Storm of the Century,” a couple weeks ago, I decided to take the epic journey to the Tower with Roland and his ka-tet once more (and not for the last time). I will review each book as I finish, so without further ado, lets palaver, you and me.

“The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed.”

Im doing this reread with the always awesome, Olivia. Beginning with those iconic first lines, “The Dark Tower 1: The Gunslinger,” was originally released in 1982 and heavily revised in 2003 to fit the ending of the series. When you write a series of 7 novels all about one thing over a 20-year period, ideas are bound to shift.

We start with the last gunslinger, Roland Deschain of the fallen city Gilead, following the mysterious Man in Black. Roland is on a quest to reach the mythical Dark Tower, but first needs answers from the Man in Black. Roland’s world is “moving on” a phrase he continually uses to describe its death. He hopes that reaching the Tower will give him the answers to fix it.

“The Gunslinger” is a little on the slower side, pace-wise, but it is still a really intriguing read and King’s revisions were excellent in placing subtle hints about the upcoming novels. I enjoyed reading this more the second time than I did the first, and that is probably since I know more now. Going into “The Gunslinger” for the first time it is a tad confusing, but trust me, push through because the next books are some of King’s best work.

Below is a slightly spoilery synopsis so beware.

During his travels through the desolate Mohaine desert, we get glimpses into Roland’s childhood and learn just how this dark figure came to be. Roland is quiet and intimidating with an air of danger surrounding him. Throughout the novel you have a hard time deciding whether or not you like him.

Roland enters the town of Tull, following the Man in Black’s steps. Here he discovers the Man in Black has spread his influence on the people of the poor desert town. After shoving his gun up the cooch of a crazy religious fanatic and killing the entire city’s population, Roland moves on. He’s a savage, plain and simple. (side note: I hate to condone the movie… because it sucked… but the gifs are cool)

After leaving Tull, Roland happens upon a way station which seems to resemble today’s gas stations. Here he finds a boy named Jake Chambers. Jake is from New York and was transported to this world when he was pushed in front of a moving car and died.

Roland tells Jake of his past and how he bested his teacher Cort to become the youngest Gunslinger. Roland learns Jake is a sacrificial pawn in his journey to reach the Man in Black and the Tower. This part of the story gets interesting because King makes the reader attached to Jake and shows Roland’s growing affection for the boy.

Roland and Jake follow the Man in Black into the mountains where they fight off slow mutants (monstrous subterranean creatures) before coming to an abyss with a small, rickety piece of track across it. With the Man in Black on the other side of the abyss, waiting, Roland and Jake attempt to cross.

Roland makes it but before Jake can, the track breaks and Roland, instead of helping him, allows him to fall, but not before Jake utters one of the many famous lines in this series:

“Go then, there are other worlds than these.”

After Jake’s sacrifice, Roland and the Man in Black, aka Walter aka Marten, palaver (talk). The two discuss Roland’s fate with tarot cards: The Sailor, The Prisoner, The Lady of Shadows, Death, and the Tower. After some trippy scenes where the Man in Black shows Roland the universe and explains the Tower, Roland sleeps for 10 years, wakes up, and ends up on the beach watching the sunset.

“The Gunslinger” is a great intro to an even greater series, I’m really looking forward to the second installment, “The Drawing of the Three.” Before I get there though, here’s my rating for “The Gunslinger” after my reread:

4 out of 5

Review Time: “Hearts in Atlantis”

My 70th Stephen King book, “Hearts in Atlantis,” was incredible. Check out my review for this interconnected collection about the Vietnam generation.

“Hearts in Atlantis” was released in September, 1999 but King had this 522-page collection of two novellas and three short stories finished in December 1998, before his near-fatal car accident in June of 1999. Sales and reception of the collection were probably hindered by this, but the collection is still a thing of beauty.

This is King’s deep dive into the generation involved with the Vietnam War. King repeatedly refers to this generation, and America during this time period, as the lost city of Atlantis. In one passage, King even refers to the war itself as “the apocalyptic continent drowner.”

These stories span from 1960 to 1999 and are all connected by feel, theme, and recurring characters. The first two stories have a feel of a brewing storm and impending doom while the last three all seem to deal with the after-effects of the storm (flood). They are all beautifully written; it is truly some of King’s best work.

“Low Men in Yellow Coats”

1960: They had a stick sharpened at both ends.

The first story in the collection is a beautiful coming of age tale, somewhat similar in feel to King’s novella “The Body.” Here King introduces the readers to all the main characters you will encounter later. Bobby Garfield, Carol Gerber, John Sullivan (Sully-John), William (Willie) Shearman and Ted Brautigan.

Bobby is the main character in this one. He lives with his mother and pals around with his best friends, Carol and Sully-John. An older gentleman, Ted, moves into the apartment above Bobby’s. Ted and Bobby soon become unlikely friends and Ted hires Bobby to read him the paper and keep a lookout for Low Men in yellow coats, as well as a few other signs.

We learn Ted is a “breaker” and the Low Men are after him because he can help destroy the beams supporting the dark tower, the nexus of the universe. Bobby, upon learning all of this, was obviously confused. All of that makes more sense if you’ve read “The Dark Tower” series.

If you have already read “The Dark Tower” series, then Ted and all his little references are incredible pleasing. If you haven’t, well, read that series. That’s all I’ll say because it is amazing.

Anyway, Bobby comes to love Ted, learn from Ted, and see Ted as a father figure. When Ted must leave toward the end of the novella, Bobby doesn’t take it well. The last few pages, watching Bobby turn from a sweet young boy to an angry teen, are heartbreaking.

“You had to keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel. Life wasn’t easy, and life wasn’t fair.” – Bobby Garfield.

There’s a lot more to this novella, but I don’t want to spoil too much for you and there are more stories to get to!

“Hearts in Atlantis”

1966: Man, we just couldn’t stop laughing.

The titular story in the collection. This one almost felt like a non-fiction story. Pete Riley is the lead here and we get to journey through freshman year at the University of Maine during the beginnings of the Vietnam conflict through his perspective.

Pete makes many friends on his hall, one of whom, Ronnie Malenfant appears in the following two stories as well. Another is Carol Gerber. Yep, the same Carol Gerber. Carol and Pete get pretty chummy if you know what I mean, but she leaves school for good after Thanksgiving break to protest the Vietnam War.

“Hearts are tough. Most times they don’t break. Most times they only bend.” – Carol Gerber.

Ronnie gets Pete’s entire freshman dorm hall enamored with the card game Hearts. The freshman are so obsessed with “chasing the bitch” that over half of them move dorms, or flunk out. This becomes problematic and much more serious once the reality of being drafted hits the boys.

Toward the end of the semester, Pete and his best friend Skip plead to their teachers for extra opportunities or make-up tests to bring their grades up. Their pleas work and both boys pass their freshman year and successfully avoid the war.

“Years later I realized that for many of the instructors it was a moral issue rather than an academic one: they didn’t want to read their ex-students’ names in a casualty list and have to wonder if they had been partially responsible; that the difference between a D and a C-minus had also been the difference between a kid who could see and hear and one sitting senseless in a V.A. hospital somewhere.” – Pete Riley

Throughout the novella, King emphasizes the feeling of impending doom that is the escalating crisis in Vietnam. We see Pete fall in love, and lose her to protests. We see Pete make friends, and lose them to Hearts. We see Pete start to fail, revitalize his schooling, and then throw it all away to protest the war himself.

King leaves us with conflicting feelings of empowerment and dread. “Hearts in Atlantis” is a beautiful novella and King utilized the realism and non-fiction feel to drive home the Atlantis metaphor.

“Time goes by, Atlantis sinks deeper and deeper into the ocean, and you have a tendency to romanticize.” – Pete Riley

Both, “Low Men in Yellow Coats” and “Hearts in Atlantis” deal with the youth learning the world is bigger than what they thought. The next three stories deal with how that world is not a nice place.

“Blind Willie”

1983: Godbless us every one.

“Blind Willie” follows a day in the life of Willie Shearman, yep the Willie I mentioned from “Low Men in Yellow Coats.” Willie leaves home every morning, goes to an office building where he writes notes apologizing to Carol Gerber (yeah her again) for helping his friend beat her up when they were kids. After this is done, Willie dresses as a blind homeless man and panhandles for money.

Willie is a Vietnam War vet. He fought alongside Sully-John (yep, same guy) and Ronnie Malenfant. He was sent home after being partially blinded by a flash-bang grenade and carrying a seriously wounded Sully-John to safety.

Willie is not actually blind, only pretends to be when he panhandles. He has to pay off a cop who isn’t convinced of his ploy.

This was the weakest story in the collection, but it was still good and dealt with heavy themes guilt and contrition.

“Why We’re in Vietnam”

1999: When someone dies, you think about the past.

This story follows Sully-John in his post-war days. After being wounded and saved by Willie, Sully starts to see the ghost of a Vietnamese woman whom Ronnie had killed, seemingly for no reason.

Years later, Sully is attending the funeral of one of his fellow soldiers and reminisces with his old Commanding Officer. They discuss how everyone who came home is falling apart (drowning), dying too early and selling out.

After the funeral, while stuck in traffic on his way home, Sully spots a woman who looks like Carol Gerber. Sully dated Carol before college and had been seeing her photos in the news at anti-war protests. One article in particular mentioned a house she was in had burned down.

Sully realizes the woman is not Carol and random objects begin falling from the sky, crushing cars and killing people. He gets hit by a baseball glove… his old friend Bobby Garfield’s baseball glove.

In the final pages, I won’t say how, but King tears our heart out.

“Heavenly Shades of Night Are Falling”

1999: Come on, you bastard, come on home.

The final story in the collection, the epilogue of sorts. Bobby Garfield has returned home for a funeral.

Bobby and his mother left their hometown shortly after Ted did. In the years that followed, Bobby was troubled and a problem child. He eventually cleaned himself up, and that is where we see him now.

While home, he revisits areas around the town, churning up old childhood memories. Bobby is sitting on a park bench when Carol comes up to him. Bobby is shocked because he had presumed Carol was dead after reading about her protests in the paper.

Throughout their conversation, Bobby reveals he received a package from Ted. The package contained his baseball glove and a message telling him to go home.

This was a mini reunion and slightly heartwarming, while at the same time very sad. The few remaining survivors of Atlantis. King brought everything full-circle… as he tends to do.

Overall I thought this collection was incredible. King absolutely crushed it. These stories were beautiful, heartwarming, heartbreaking, and impactful.

I hope I didn’t give too much away in my review, and I hope, if you’re confused or thought some things were too vague, then you’ll grab yourself a copy. I highly recommend you check it out.

5 out of 5.

Ranking Stephen King’s Work

Stephen King is the author of more than 70 books in a little over 40 years. His stories reach into almost every genre you can think of and they are all truly works of art. I have read 63 so far (I’ll post another ranking once I’ve finished them all) and I truly love all of them. I haven’t read anything by King that I would consider bad, but some are just much better than others.
Below, I ranked the books I have read. Feel free to leave comments at the end, and if you disagree with me, tell me why, I’m open for discussion. So, without further ado, here we go:

63: “Charlie The Choo Choo” – 20 pages; 2016; 3/5

This is King’s children’s story found within the pages of “The Dark Tower” series. He wrote this under the name Beryl Evans. The story is good and the art by Ned Dameron is better, but having read most of it in “The Dark Tower 3: The Waste Lands” already, the standalone story seems a bit pointless.

62: “The Dark Man” – 76 pages; 2013; 3/5

King wrote this poem when he was very young, and it is disturbing, but honestly the illustrations by Glenn Chadbourne are better than the poem. This is the basis for Randall Flagg though, so it is pretty cool.

61: “Roadwork” – 204 pages; 1981; 3/5

“Roadwork” is a Richard Bachman (King’s pseudonym) book about a man attempting to deal with the eventual loss of his home due to the construction of an overpass. The novel is sad but boring and I struggled to get through it. There were some interesting bits, but overall its just alright.

60: “The Running Man” – 159 pages; 1982; 3/5

“The Running Man,” another Bachman book, is about a man who enters in a life or death game show. It was a very interesting concept and honestly it wasn’t horrible, but it just wasn’t good. I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would and it could have been a lot better.

59: “Blaze” – 260 pages; 2007; 3/5

Yet another Bachman book (they’re not all bad I promise). This one is about a mentally challenged man who kidnaps a wealthy family’s baby for ransom. It was a bit like “Of Mice and Men,” but not nearly as good. This one did make me cry at one point, but overall it was dull.

58: “Dreamcatcher” – 617 pages; 2001; 3/5

Shit weasel aliens. Pretty much the most memorable part of this one for me. There were some aspects that hit your feels, and a return to Derry was nice too, but I couldn’t get into this one. I know a lot of people really enjoy it, but it just wasn’t for me.

57: “From a Buick 8” – 351 pages; 2002; 3/5

Very cool concept about a car that is a portal to another dimension, but the whole thing is told in flashbacks until the very end. While each flashback was cool, the surrounding parts were so dull and aside from a few, most of the flashbacks were disappointing too. There were a couple tear-jerk moments but in the end, it fell flat.

56: “Sleeping Beauties” – 700 pages; 2017; 3/5

King wrote this giant with his youngest son Owen. Before reading this, I was so excited. All the women around the world become covered in a sort of cocoon when they fall asleep, and they won’t wake up. Trying to open the cocoon results in violence. Sounds cool right? Well, it was… but it was also boring and so drawn out. The Kings got too artsy and didn’t focus enough on the good stuff. There were some awesome parts, but the boring outweighed the good.

55: “Full Dark, No Stars” – 386 pages; 2010; 3/5

“Full Dark, No Stars” is a collection of four novellas: “1922,” “Big Driver,” “Fair Extension,” and “A Good Marriage.” This collection wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either. “1922” was the only real highlight and it was very good. “Big Driver” was just weird and very reminiscent of the movie “I Spit on Your Grave.” “Fair Extension” was cool but needed more. It felt too quick. In “A Good Marriage,” King writes about a very strong woman, but the story is just okay, and it is a little lengthy and slow.

54: “The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon” – 219 pages; 1999; 3/5

A story about a little girl who gets lost in the woods of New England. This is a creepy tale and especially real but there is really only so much King could do with the subject matter. It wasn’t a bad story by any means and I did really enjoy it, but it was quick and ultimately not super exciting.

53: “Cell” – 350 pages; 2006; 3/5

A cellphone signals turns everyone who is on them into a zombie. This story was cool and started out with a huge punch, one so good you expect that the whole time… but no. The middle events of this novel are too quick. It could have been a lot better.

52: “The Colorado Kid” – 178 pages; 2005; 3/5

I actually really enjoyed this one. An aspiring journalist listens to two old newspaper editors tell her the story of an unsolved death. The story was intriguing but a bit slow and the ending leaves you with no answers. I liked it but would have liked it more if we had come to a resolution of sorts.

51: “Cycle of the Werewolf” – 127 pages; 1985; 4/5

This is a quick graphic novel about a werewolf terrorizing a town for a year. The story is creepy and a good mystery, but I wanted more. The illustrations by the late Berni Wrightson are amazing. King should turn this into a novel because the concept and story are there waiting to be expanded.

50: “Skeleton Crew” – 566 pages; 1985; 3/5

This is a collection of 22 short stories. The collection is good but has a lot of stories I just couldn’t get into. There are a few like “The Mist,” “The Jaunt,” and “Survivor Type,” that are amazing, but in the end, the duds outweigh the studs, forcing “Skeleton Crew” to fall down the rankings.

49: “The Dark Tower: The Wind Through the Keyhole” – 307 pages; 2012; 4/5

“Dark Tower” 4.5. This story is about Roland telling the Ka-Tet a story from his youth where he tells a young boy a fairy tale. Its storyception… a story within a story within a story. I enjoyed this little tale (tales) though. It was tightly written, and the stories were interesting. This one falls just because everything else above it is better.

48: “Thinner” – 282 pages; 1984; 4/5

Another Bachman book. A gypsy curses a man to lose weight. Doesn’t sound like a curse does it? Well it is because the weight loss doesn’t stop. This book was chilling and an interesting idea. It wasn’t overly wordy but the subject matter was a little silly and not a lot happens before the ending (which is great).

47: “Four Past Midnight” – 763 pages; 1990; 4/5

A collection of four novellas: “The Langoliers,” “Secret Window, Secret Garden,” The Library Policeman,” and “The Sun Dog.” All four stories are good but not great. They all have a lot of good things but they all also have their issues and these issues cause this collection to fall.

46: “The Tommyknockers” – 563 pages; 1987; 4/5

This novel is crazy. King said he wrote this novel with bloody tissues hanging from his nostrils after doing too much cocaine… you can tell. The novel is fun and very intricate and intriguing, but it feels disorganized at times and some of the events are just so out there.

45: “The Dark Tower 4: Wizard & Glass” – 781 pages; 1997; 4/5

This book is great, Rolands backstory is truly tragic, but it was too slow at times. This was the one “Dark Tower” novel I had to push through. The beginning and end were great, but the middle build-up is too slow for me and it felt like a huge pause in Roland’s journey to the Tower.

44: “The Dark Tower 6: Song of Susannah” – 411 pages; 2004; 4/5

The 6^th volume in the “Dark Tower” series was fast paced and just a set-up for the grand finale. It was good, but at this point in the series, you are just waiting for the end. There wasn’t enough action and it ended too abruptly.

43: “The Dark Tower 5: Wolves of the Calla” – 709 pages; 2003; 4/5

The 5^th “Dark Tower” novel is a good one for sure, but it is a tad slow and another pause of sorts. There was an air of mystery throughout and a certain character from another novel appears and tells us where he has been for the last 30 years, vaulting this novel over “Song” and “Wizard.”

42: “The Eyes of the Dragon” – 326 pages; 1987; 4/5

King wrote us a nice fairy tale here. he switched up his style and it almost feels like a bedtime or campfire story. It is really good, but the writing style makes everything seem light even though a lot of the subject matter was not.

41: “End of Watch” – 429 pages; 2016; 4/5

The finale of the Hodges trilogy was very good, but king didn’t really stick to what made the first two so good. The first two were realistic while in this one, he reverted to the supernatural which normally is great, but just felt out of place in this series. There were still some great events and disturbing scenes and the ending was water-works worthy though.

40: “The Bazaar of Bad Dreams” – 495 pages; 2015; 4/5

This collection of 15 short stories is truly impressive. King went modern with a few and they were killer. He even drudged up some older subjects and works and put them in this collection and they were great. The few duds brought “Bazaar” down to 40, but the good ones are what keep it here.

39: “Revival” – 403 pages; 2014; 4/5

The title is the subject matter here and it’s a goodie. “Revival” is deep and sometimes overly religious and bashed religion some too but still a great and sad story. The ending is NUTS.

38: “Gerald’s Game” – 332 pages; 1992; 4/5

A woman is chained to her bed during sexual play when her husband dies. This novel is disturbing as hell. Sometimes it gets a bit uncomfortable, especially during the eclipse of 1963, but I really enjoyed this one. The Space Cowboy is one creepy figure too.

37: “Dolores Claiborne” – 305 pages; 1993; 4/5

King delivers another strong female character. Dolores is a badass. Written like a testimony, this novel is only in Dolores’s voice and its still amazing. King never ceases to amaze.

36: “Gwendy’s Button Box” – 164 pages; 2017; 4/5

This novella, co-written with Richard Chizmar, is the return to Castle Rock. A truly beautifully written novella that is too short. Seriously I finished it in two days, I want more!! The story was great, setting was great, characters were great, but it falls because it deserves a full-length novel.

35: “Finders Keepers” – 431 pages; 2015; 4/5

The second novel in the Hodges Trilogy delivers. I really enjoyed this tale and loved the reminiscent feelings of “Misery.” Falls to its predecessor because Morris Bellamy, as creepy as he is, was no Brady.

34: “Desperation” – 690 pages; 1995; 4/5

I really enjoyed King’s messed up trip to the Nevada desert town of Desperation where we get to meet the creepy and disturbed force, Tak. The aspects of possession and the totally deserted town made this a great and creepy tale. It got preachy at times and the backstory was a bit drawn out, but I still liked this a lot more than I thought I would.

33: “Needful Things” – 690 pages; 1990; 4/5

This was subtitled: The Last Castle Rock Story, and King definitely wrote it with that intention. I really enjoyed the slow build to a MAJOR bang finish. The huge cast of characters got a little confusing at times and the final showdown was super stupid. Other than that, this novel was fantastic and absolutely chaotic (in a good way).

32: “The Talisman” – 646 pages; 1984; 4/5

King teamed up with Peter Straub to write this epic adventure about young Jack Sawyer who is in search of the mythic Talisman to help his dying mother. Concept, story, delivery, characters, setting: killer. All amazing. The antagonist is great and there are even some “Dark Tower” nods too. This only falls so low because it gets drawn out a bit at times.

31: “Black House” – 625 pages; 2001; 4/5

The sequel to “The Talisman,” again written with Peter Straub. The sequel beats out its predecessor because the novel is so dark and disturbing, and I got super excited when all the blatant “Dark Tower” ties were said. The novel falls to 31 because the narration at points is like a flyover. I had to force myself through the first 70 pages, but beyond that… WOW.

30: “The Regulators” – 475 pages; 1996; 4/5

Written as Richard Bachman, this is the sister-novel to “Desperation.” The character names are all the same, but instead of the desert, we’re in perfect suburbia Ohio. Tak is our villain again, but the way he torments the protagonists in “Regulators” is just so damn cool.

29: “Under The Dome” – 1072 pages; 2009; 4/5

King wrote a giant masterpiece here. Drop a semi-permeable dome over a small Maine town and see what happens. Shit hits the fan, as the saying goes. This novel is great in so many ways but falls here because the ending was just… just lame. If King could have put a better finish, this one would be higher.

28: “Firestarter” – 428 pages; 1980; 4/5

I really enjoyed this little chase story about a young girl and her father, both with powers, being chased by a secret government agency, The Shop. This story is intense for the most part and an awesome concept. It falls a bit due to some overly wordy explanations and a middle section that felt like it needed a push.

27: “The Dead Zone” – 426 pages; 1979; 4/5

A man gets into a tragic car accident and is in a coma for five years. When he wakes up he discovers he has precognitive abilities. This novel was intense and extremely well written with great characters and a gripping story. There were some slow bits, but I loved this tragic tale. The politics are a solid aspect of the novel too.

26: “Everything’s Eventual” – 459 pages; 2002; 4/5

This collection of 14 short stories is amazing. There were very few, if any, duds. All 14 were creepy and so good. We even got a mini Roland story and another tale, the title story, was about another “Dark Tower” character.

25: “Cujo” – 319 pages; 1981; 4/5

“Cujo” is about… well you know, who doesn’t know? Cujo is a good boy. This novel was surprisingly good for such a simple concept. The terror and realism in this novel make it extra chilling and the way King connects you to the characters makes it extra easy to become invested. That ending turned on the water works.

24: “Mr. Mercedes” – 436 pages; 2014; 4/5

The first novel in the Bill Hodges Trilogy was fantastic. I fell in love with this novel within the first 10 pages. King wrote possibly one of his best villains ever and an amazing hero too. The story was fast paced and kept you on the edge of your seat the entire time.

23: “Night Shift” – 326 pages; 1977; 4/5

King’s first crack at a short story collection is his best. I think there were only one or two stories I didn’t enjoy. Aside from those, the collection was incredible. We got a prequel to “The Stand” as well as a prequel AND sequel to “Salem’s Lot.” King even managed to make me ball my eyes out with a 12-page story.

22: “Christine” – 471 pages; 1983; 4/5

This haunting coming of age story about a very strange love triangle was a lot better than the concept originally seems. A killer car… must be a joke, right? Oh no, Christine is quite chilling, and it is truly a great read.

21: “The Dark Tower 1: The Gunslinger” – 231 pages; 1982; 4/5

The start of “The Dark Tower” saga was great. This quick and easy read gets you instantly sucked into the greatest literary series of all time. I was hooked from the famous opening line: “The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.”

20: “Doctor Sleep” – 528 pages; 2013; 5/5

The sequel to “The Shining” was the perfect way to follow up the 1975 novel almost 40 years later. We get to see how Danny is as an adult, can you say nostalgia? This novel was beautiful in every way. King was able to make it original and touch on important aspects from its predecessor.

19: “The Long Walk” – 183 pages; 1979; 5/5

A Bachman book, this story is about a dystopia where teen boys must walk until they drop… and when they drop, they are shot. This novel is dark and suspenseful yet beautiful at the same time. I thoroughly enjoyed this one. Great characters, great concept, well executed, and some nice twists too.

18: “Carrie” – 199 pages; 1974; 5/5

King’s first novel is a tragic tale about an awkward high school girl who discovers she has telekinetic abilities. This novel is so well written, and the way King subtly hints and mentions the ending throughout the novel was very clever and he still manages to amaze you once you get there.

17: “The Green Mile” – 399 pages; 1996; 5/5

This tragic tale about a man wrongly accused of murder and the guards in charge of watching him while on death row. The guards soon discover this man is very special. Originally released as a serial novel (one part each month for six months), this novel is beautiful. I’m sure you have seen the movie, but trust me, the book is better.

16: “Misery” – 338 pages; 1987; 5/5

Another novel that has an incredible film adaptation. This dark and disturbing novel is every author’s worst nightmare and is guaranteed to give you the creeps. Annie Wilkes “rescues” famous author Paul Sheldon from a car accident. To this day, 4 years later, this book still creeps me out.

15: “Joyland” – 300 pages; 2013; 5/5

This beautiful noir novel is about a college student who spends his summer, and then the following semester, working at an amusement park and attempting to solve a murder at the same time. King wrote this for Hard Case Crime and it is truly a work of art. I personally have never related to a character more than Devin Jones and this novel made me cry like a baby. I’ve said it already, but it is truly beautiful.

14: “The Dark Half” – 431 pages; 1989; 5/5

King wrote under the pseudonym Richard Bachman for a while, and that was the inspiration for this dark and violent novel. An author’s pseudonym comes to life and is on the hunt for its creator. I tore through this novel. It is fast paced, chilling, violent, and a fun read. People dislike this story because it gets a bit barbaric at times, but that is part of the appeal for me.

13: “Rage” – 124 pages; 1977; 5/5

Probably King’s most controversial novel, “Rage,” written under the Richard Bachman name, is about a boy who kills two teachers and holds a classroom full of students hostage. Understandably, King removed this novel from publication. As screwed up as the concept is, this novel and the story are actually really good. If you can get your hands on it, give it a read.

12: “The Dark Tower 7: The Dark Tower” – 830 pages; 2004; 5/5

The finale of “The Dark Tower” series was everything a Tower Junkie could have asked for. It was truly an incredible and tragic wrap to an amazing series. Some people complain about the ending, but really it was the only way to end the story and if you look back, King hinted at it pretty early on. I cried multiple times throughout this giant and I loved every word of it.

11: “The Dark Tower 2: The Drawing of the Three” – 399 pages; 1987; 5/5

The second installment in “The Dark Tower” series is where Roland really starts to get his ka-tet together and this is where the saga starts to get really good. The way King described certain aspects of this novel was truly incredible. Also, this is the book where we get to meet my all-time favorite King character: Eddie Dean.

10: “Different Seasons” – 518 pages; 1982; 5/5

A collection of four absolutely beautiful novellas. “Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption,” “Apt Pupil,” “The Body” and “The Breathing Method.” All four of these stories are truly incredible. Three of which have been turned into amazing films, “Shawshank Redemption,” “Stand By Me” and “Apt Pupil.” The realism in these stories make them especially good.

9: “The Dark Tower 3: The Waste Lands” – 509 pages; 1988; 5/5

The third, and my favorite installment in “The Dark Tower” series is where the journey to the Tower truly starts. The ka-tet is whole, and the journey rolls on. This novel is intense from the beginning and it explains a lot of the background info the first two novels were missing. From start to finish, “The Waste Lands” is a roller coaster.

8: “The Shining” – 447 pages; 1977; 5/5

King’s 3^rd novel is creepy as hell. Jack Torrance, his son and his wife, stay alone in the Overlook Hotel in Sidewinder, Colorado during the winter months to take care of the place. The hotel is alive with past spirits and its haunting. Seriously this novel is so good. A slow build to a big bang, but the entirety is filled with creepiness that gives you permanent goosebumps.

7: “Salems Lot” – 478 pages; 1975; 5/5

King’s take on vampires is terrifying. He slowly builds the story and makes you feel like you are a part of the little Maine town, then slowly turns the place into Hell. It is truly incredible how subtly he does this and how good it is. Barlow is a great villain and Ben Mears is an awesome protagonist.

6: “11/22/63” – 842 pages; 2011; 5/5

A man goes back in time to stop the assassination of John F. Kennedy. The research, time and effort King put into this one is truly admirable, and it shows throughout the story. With such a singular topic, he somehow managed to add other plot developments that made the story roll along at a perfect pace. This is a masterpiece… much like the next 5 novels you will see.

5: “Insomnia” – 787 pages; 1994; 5/5

This giant novel is pretty much a “Dark Tower” novel that takes place in Derry and has a lot of “IT” mentions. It is truly a work of art. King went all in on this one and I absolutely adored it. I cried like a little baby at the end… no shame. Read my review to see how much I loved this one.

4: “Duma Key” – 609 pages; 2008; 5/5

Okay, this novel is amazing. After reading this I really felt like it made me a better person. Following along with Edgar Freemantle as he slowly reinvents himself was truly heartwarming. The way King slowly and easily inserts creepy and mysterious elements were amazing. Another tear jerker, “Duma Key” is one of those books that leaves a lasting impression.

3: “The Stand” – 1153 pages; 1978; 5/5

King’s longest and most epic novel is… well its EPIC. A virus known as Captain Tripps wipes out most of the population and the remaining people are split into two factions. A good vs evil story sprawled out across over 1000 pages of pure awesomeness. We are also introduced to the ultimate King bad-guy, Randall Flagg. This book has everything. The page count may seem daunting, but its worth it.

2: “IT” – 1138 pages; 1986; 5/5

King’s scariest novel to date, about a shape-shifting clown who terrorized a group of kids in Derry Maine is an amazing story. This group of kids, The Losers Club, stand up to the entity as kids and again as adults. The way King writes this novel, jumping from 1958 to 1986 is masterful. Not only is this story amazing, but it will scare the crap out of you too.

1: “Pet Sematary” – 374 pages; 1983; 5/5

A seemingly perfect family moves into a new house and behind their new home, lies an ancient Indian burial ground where if the dead are buried there, they will come back. This novel is terrifying, beautiful, tragic, and amazing all wrapped into one. This is the perfect novel. The five previously mentioned novels have everything, and this one has everything… but better. I truly love this novel. It moved me in ways I didn’t think previously possible.

As a whole, “The Dark Tower” series belong here, at #1, but because I did each novel individually, its not. It is truly the greatest literary series ever created. “The Dark Tower” is known as King’s magnum opus and the center of his storybook universe.

Anyway, if you made it here, I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading my opinions and I hope you agree, but if you don’t, that’s fine, everyone feels differently, everyone sees things and interprets things differently. That is the true beauty of books. Again, thanks for reading and leave some comments!

Review Time: “Cell”

“Cell” was my 62nd Stephen King novel. It was quick and pretty interesting but didn’t have enough to make it great for me.

A signal known as The Pulse is released through all cellphones into the brains of everyone who uses them. This signal drives the victims insane, making them primal.

“Cell” was released in 2006. This 350-page novel is King’s unique twist on zombies. As usual, King weaves in a very intriguing story with some incredible characters as well as an extremely creepy villain, Raggedy Man.

This novel had a very fun, very exciting start. Lots of gore, lots of action, lots of suspense.

The middle of “Cell” was a bit dry for me. It had a lot of explanations that played in later, but the actual events flew by almost too quickly. King, usually a very descriptive writer, decided to give an almost synopsis-like depiction of the characters journey from place to place.

The main character and main protagonist, Clay Riddell, a striving comic artist, was leaving a meeting in Boston where his artwork for a comic called “The Dark Wanderer” (sound familiar?) was just purchased, when The Pulse happened.

Clay does not own a cellphone. He makes friends and quickly gets out of Boston and heads north in search of his son.

Clay is easy to love. He is humorous, smart, and determined. The friends he makes along the way are great too. Specifically, Jordan. Like I said, King is great with characters.

“Cell” had plenty of moments where King would slow it down and spend some time in one area, and those moments were always awesome. Gaiten Academy, where we meet Jordan, being a personal highlight for me.

Jordan is a loyal and extremely smart young boy attending Gaiten Academy. He also didn’t own a cellphone but is a computer genius of sorts. Jordan’s character quickly became a favorite of mine due to his strength, courage, and brains. His theories on the phone crazies prove to be very useful and important.

Gaiten is also where we first see the creepy torn up leader of the phone crazies: Raggedy Man.

King does what everyone knows he’s good at: describing someone who will haunt you. Raggedy Man is that someone. He is a phone crazy but seems more aware. His physical description alone is creepy as hell, but some of his actions really made his scenes scary.

The end though… WOW. King packed a HUGE punch. The whole Kashwak scene was just INSANE! Talk about going out with a bang. The last few pages could have been done differently, but overall, I actually sort of liked the cliff-hanger.

“Cell” was adapted into a movie, starring John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson, released in 2016. I watched it shortly after finishing the novel…

I wasted 97 minutes of my life.

Within the first five minutes of the film I was already angered. Changing small details that didn’t need to be changed, the effects were poor for a 21^st century movie, and the acting was Cheetoh’s level cheesy.

Don’t waste your time on the movie but do read the book. The book is at least cool.

“Cell” was pretty good, it just wasn’t great. I talked to a few people who follow my Stephen King Instagram page and discussed my issues. The last 100 pages or so made it better for me.

It felt like “The Stand’s” little cousin, but not nearly as good. There were a few “Dark Tower” nods that made me smile but the novel probably could have used another 100 pages and it would have been great.

This does seem to be a novel that people either love or hate, so read it and find out for yourself.

In the end, I give “Cell” a 3 out of 5, but it is a high 3… would probably be about a 7 out of 10 if we’re getting technical.

3 Out Of 5

Review Time: “Insomnia”

WOW “Insomnia” was my 61st Stephen King book and it’s the first one I am writing an official review for. So, here goes nothing:

READ THIS NOVEL

There, review done. Just kidding. Seriously though, read it. Preferably after you’ve read “IT” and “The Dark Tower” series.

“Insomnia” takes place in the fictional Maine town of Derry, where “IT” is set. “Insomnia” has a lot of references to the 1986 novel and it’s also pretty much a “Dark Tower” novel without having “The Dark Tower” in the title.

“In some ways – a lot of ways, actually – Derry wasn’t like other places.”

This novel quickly, slid itself into my top 5 King books (I will make a post about my King rankings soon). The “IT” and “Dark Tower” references alone made this an above average King book, but those weren’t even the half of it. After finishing, and wiping the tears off my face, I stared at my ceiling for a good ten minutes just digesting it.

Needless to say, I didn’t pick up my next read, “Cell,” until after a few days, and I still can’t stop thinking about “Insomnia.” The last time I had to do that with a King novel was after the “The Dark Tower” series finale.

“Insomnia” left me speechless. The book had EVERYTHING. King was like a witch throwing ingredients into a cauldron. He threw in a dash of horror, a little fantasy, a bit of drama, some politics, a touch of violence, a lot of emotion, a triple dose of excitement, and a whole lot of suspense. As usual, the characters and descriptions were superb.

This 787-page giant hit shelves in 1993. 787 pages seems like a lot, and there are a few instances where King seems to drone on or dialogue just crawls, but in all honesty, every word is necessary. Throughout the entire novel I never found myself anywhere close to boredom.

Quick synopsis: Ralph Roberts, the 70-year-old protagonist of the novel, begins to suffer from insomnia following the death of his wife. Ralph begins to see auras surrounding his neighbors. Little does he know these auras have a deeper meaning and they’re not just pretty colors

!!!!!!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!!!

Alright, here’s where the real review comes in *insert sly smile emoji here.*
Like I said before, I can imagine King just pulling snippets from every genre and every book he has written and sprinkling pieces into “Insomnia.” Okay, maybe not every book, but a few of them.

King made me cry within the first 100 pages describing the death of, Ralph’s, wife, even though we as readers had little to no interaction with her. Seriously how does he do it? Pretty sure I cried three times throughout this novel, so we’re not done with the water works yet.

Later Ralph has a confrontation with a neighbor who is spouting nonsense about colors, little bald doctors and the Crimson King… YEAH, THE CRIMSON FREAKING KING!

Ralph starts suffering from insomnia and begins seeing auras (colors) around people. He soon discovers these colors correspond to moods or intentions. Each aura has what Ralph describes as a balloon string, attached to the head.

The descriptions King puts into Ralph’s visions are so vivid. I absolutely loved reading these. Some people who weren’t fans of the novel describe them as acid trips. Now, I’ve never done acid so I wouldn’t know, but I found these visions to be very cool and honestly beautiful.

Ralph sees three little bald guys (doctors) and had a lengthy 45+ page discussion with two of them. He names the doctors after the three Fates in Greek Mythology. Clotho and Lachesis, who serve The Purpose, and Atropos, who serves The Random.

The Purpose is where everyone has a designated time of death and Clotho and Lachesis will show up, cut your balloon string and send you to your death peacefully. Atropos on the other hand, slices the string and you die in some sort of random act of violence, tragedy or accident: The Random.

“We are all bound together by the Purpose. That’s ka-tet, which means one made of many.”

The Crimson King has been working on Ralph’s neighbor for years and influenced him to go against the Purpose and Random and fly a plane, with a bomb inside, into the Derry Civic Center where a pro-women’s rights activist is speaking to a crowd of 2000+.

King sprinkles in large amounts of pro/anti-abortion and pro/anti-women’s rights political arguments throughout “Insomnia.” The politics are often cited as an area of complaint for some, but to me, they made the novel feel grounded and real.

Anyway, the Crimson King doesn’t care about pro or anti-women’s rights. He cares about a 4-year-old boy who got dragged to the convention center with his mother. This boy is Patrick Danville. Patrick is destined to save the life of a man trying to get into the Dark Tower.

For “Dark Tower” fans, this is the same Patrick Danville from the 7th “Dark Tower”, and the man he is destined to save? Yeah, that’s Roland. Crazy right? I mean I was absolutely mind-blown.

Little Patrick sits inside the civic center drawing a picture while the activist is speaking. His picture is of Roland outside the Dark Tower with the Crimson King at the top. I can’t even express how excited I was reading that passage. OH MY GOD.

“His name is Roland, Mama. I dream about him, sometimes. Him’s a King, too.” – Patrick Danville.

Before the Civic Center we get a mini adventure into the depths of Derry through a little cave at the base of a tree: Atropos’ lair. Here we see a maze of all the trophies he collects from those he kills, one of which is little Gage Creed’s shoe… yeah I got a bit misty reading that passage.

Anyway, Ralph redirects the plane saving Patrick and defeating the Crimson King… for now. Ralph marries his neighbor and they live happily for a few more years… until Ralph gets hit by a car while saving a little girl. COME ON, KING, WHY?!?!?! Yeah, I bawled. I mean cried my freakin’ eyes out.

Sorry this review got a little lengthy but “Insomnia” is THAT good. All I want to do is talk about it, and I hope when you read it, you’ll feel the same way. King is incredible and once again delivers a beauty.

5 out of 5

Stephen King’s poem “The Bone Church” to be adapted for TV

The next few years are shaping up to be pretty exciting for Stephen King fans after the rights to his narrative poem “The Bone Church,” were picked up by Cedar Park Entertainment. It looks like we’ll be seeing King’s name on our TVs or computer screens once again.

“If you want to hear, buy me another drink. …There were thirty-two of us went into that greensore, Thirty days in the green and only three who rose above it.”

Chris Long and David Ayer, founders of Cedar Park Entertainment, acquired the rights to Stephen King’s narrative poem “The Bone Church.” Long and Ayer plan to turn the eight-page poem into a TV series.

Chris Long is no stranger to King’s work. He was an executive producer on Audience Network’s adaptation of “Mr. Mercedes.” Long was programming chief at Audience for 18 years but left to form Cedar Park with Ayer.

David Ayer is best known for his work directing the DC comics film “Suicide Squad” as well as the hit Netflix movie “Bright.” After “Bright’s” success, Ayer signed a deal with Netflix to direct and write “Bright 2.”

v1.bTsxMjU3NzQzODtqOzE3NjUwOzEyMDA7MTUwMDsyMjIy

Stephen King wrote “The Bone Church” in the 1960s but didn’t publish it until 2009 in “Playboy Magazine.” The poem was later revised and republished in his 2015 short story collection “The Bazaar of Bad Dreams.”

“The Bone Church” is a tale of a drunk man telling a story about when he and 31 other explorers trekked into the jungle in search of the mythic Bone Church. Throughout the story, the narrator asks for more drinks and describes the deaths of every traveler except himself and two others. For the mathematically challenged, that’s 29 deaths.

As a poem, “The Bone Church,” is a different read but the style doesn’t take away from the creepy nature of the tale. This eight-page poem is guaranteed to give you chills. It is just one of 20 short stories in the “Bazaar of Bad Dreams” anthology. Other notable stories include:

“Ur” about a mysterious pink Kindle that contains books, newspapers, and other written works from other dimensions, and the future. This tale even has some connections to King’s magnum opus, “The Dark Tower.”
“Obits” is another good one about a young man who discovers he can kill people by writing their obituaries prematurely.
In “Mile 81” a young boy explores an abandoned rest stop and discovers a car that eats people. Sounds silly, I know, but it has little hints of King’s other car related novels, “Christine” and “From a Buick 8.”

Almost every story in “The Bazaar of Bad Dreams” is a hit and I wouldn’t be surprised if we see some others getting their own adaptations soon.

“The Bone Church” joins a long list of King stories set to hit TV screens or movies theaters:

“Castle Rock” debuts this summer.
“IT” part one was a huge success in September 2017. Part two begins filming this summer.
In January, Mike Flanagan, director of the adaptation of King’s novel “Gerald’s Game,” signed on to adapt “Doctor Sleep,” the sequel to King’s famous novel “The Shining.”
“Mr. Mercedes” season one was a huge hit. Season two began filming in February.
The rights to a re-adaptation of King’s famous novel (and my personal favorite) “Pet Sematary” were picked up by Paramount in December 2017. The new movie is slated for an April 19, 2019 release.
Last, but certainly not least, following the film’s flop in the summer of 2017, “The Dark Tower” will be rebooted for TV thanks to Amazon.

In case I lost you up there, here is a list of the novels and short stories. These should get you ready for the adaptations out currently and all the hopefully amazing movies and TV shows we will see in the coming years!

“The Bazaar of Bad Dreams” (2015) (495 pages) (Collection of short stories)
- “The Bone Church” (8 pages) (no release date for TV show yet)
“IT” (1986) (1138 pages) (TV movie 1990) (film 2017, part one. 2019, part two)
“Gerald’s Game” (1992) (332 pages) (film 2017)
“Mr Mercedes” (2014) (436 pages) (TV show 2017)
- “Finders Keepers” (2015) (431 pages) (season 2 of Mr. Mercedes set for 2019)
- “End of Watch” (2016) (429 pages)
“The Shining” (1977) (447 pages) (Film 1980) (TV movie 1997)
“Doctor Sleep” (2013) (529 pages) (presumable 2019 or 2020 release)
“Pet Sematary” (1983) (374 pages) (film 1989) (remake 2019)
“The Dark Tower” (series of 8 novels) (1981-2004) (over 4000 pages) (film 2017) (TV show coming soon on Amazon)

You should know by now what I am about to say: read the books before seeing the movies or watching the shows! I know there is a lot of material listed there, but you can do it. Some were listed in previous posts anyway, so you should have a head start… right?

Amazon Saves The Day; Purchases Rights To “The Dark Tower”

Amazon has purchased the rights to “The Dark Tower” series; planning a complete reboot of Stephen King’s Mangum Opus.

“The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.”

Amazon has purchased the rights to Stephen King’s expansive sci-fi/fantasy/western series, “The Dark Tower.” The intention is to create a TV series. This is great news to every King fan out there because the 2017 film adaptation just didn’t cut it.

After production finished for last summer’s film, starring Idris Elba as Roland Deschain, the last Gunslinger of Gilead, and Matthew McConaughey as The Man in Black, Roland’s nemesis, director Nikolaj Arcel announced he would be working on a TV series related to the backstory of Roland.

The film more or less tanked. It was a sad excuse for an adaptation and the 90-minute run-time didn’t nearly cover enough of the material from a SEVEN book series. Due to the films failure, plans for the series were dropped. In comes Amazon to the rescue!

The new show, rumored to be helmed by “Walking Dead” executive producer Glen Mazzara, is supposedly going to be a complete reboot of the series. HALLELUJAH!

“The Dark Tower” is Stephen King’s magnum opus. It is a seven book series which also includes an eighth book that is more of a side story.

“Magnum Opus: a large and important work of art, music, or literature, especially one regarded as the most important work of an artist or writer.”

What is “The Dark Tower?” Here’s a short synopsis: “The Dark Tower” series tells the tale of Roland’s search for the Dark Tower, a tower that stands at the center of the world, the axis from which everything else revolves around.

Roland’s world is dying, and he believes if he reaches the Tower he can fix it. Of course, there are people attempting to stop him; people who want to see the world destroyed; people like The Man in Black and the Crimson King.

Throughout his journey, Roland makes new friends; Eddie Dean, Susannah, Jake Chambers, Oy (a billy bumbler which is a sort of fox/raccoon-like creature). Together, they form a Ka-tet (definitions of all the weird words used are at the bottom).

Roland and his Ka-tet face many hardships on their journey to the Tower. They save lives, shoot bad-guys and travel between dimensions through doorways or portals. The series is a roller coaster from start to finish.

The seven book series, written from 1981 to 2004, contains over 4,000 pages of material and even expands into King’s other works. “The Dark Tower” is considered the center of King’s storybook universe.

Below, is a rudimentary diagram of how his other novels and stories connect to “The Dark Tower.” There are also more possible connections that haven’t been confirmed or denied yet.

If you have read previous posts, you may notice some familiar titles such as “One for the Road,” and a lot, if not all, of the Castle Rock stories.

Listed here are all “The Dark Tower” novels in order, but the diagram above features 19 other novels, 4 novellas and 8 short stories that have ties to the series. There are also 16 comics for the “The Dark Tower.” “Gwendy’s Button Box,” a novella by Stephen King and Richard Chizmar, was written after the diagram was created, but it also contains possible ties to “The Dark Tower.”

“The Dark Tower 1: The Gunslinger” (1981) (231 pages)
“The Dark Tower 2: The Drawing of the Three” (1987) (399 pages)
“The Dark Tower 3: The Wastelands” (1991) (509 pages)
“The Dark Tower 4: Wizard and Glass” (1997) (781 pages) This novel is mostly about Roland’s past
“The Dark Tower 5: Wolves of the Calla” (2003) (709 pages)
“The Dark Tower 6: Song of Susannah” (2004) (411 pages)
“The Dark Tower 7: The Dark Tower” (2004) (830 pages)
“The Wind Through the Keyhole: A Dark Tower Novel” (2012) (307 pages) This novel is about Roland’s past and a fairy tale his mother used to tell him as a child.

As mentioned before, there are other novels and stories that may have connections to the series, but they have yet to be confirmed or maybe no one has noticed them yet. That’s on you to read, discover and theorize on your own (or find a group of King fans to nerd out with… trust me it’s fun).

“The Dark Tower” contains a plethora of strange words, phrases and places, so, as promised, here’s an extremely small list of definitions:

Ka: life force, consciousness, duty, destiny, fate
Ka-tet: a group of people summoned together by Ka
Thankee: thank you
Sai: sir or madam
Gilead: fabled city where Roland grew up, located in Mid-World
Mid-World: one of the many worlds or levels of the Tower. It is the world Roland inhabits
The Dark Tower: the center of all creation

As always, read the books before the show! Don’t even bother with the movie. The series is truly incredible, and the connections are endless. Once you get started, you will never want to put these books, or any King books, down. Enjoy, and as always feel free to leave comments and don’t forget to follow!